Becoming

When I woke up today I was dreading all the work that I would have to do today. I was hoping to have nothing to do today and enjoy the day off, but instead ended up with a list of things that I needed to accomplish. As I was lying in bed, not wanting to get out because I knew that it would mean I actually had to start the day and be productive, I was wondering what  the point of doing all this work was. In a few years I won't care about the grades I got this semester or how much I accomplished at work, so why do I put so much effort into doing these things? Why not just take the day off? After all I did wake up tired today, I could use a day off.


Far be it from me though to possibly be able to justify such a stance towards work for very long. 


 


So I dragged my sorry rear out of bed and trudged to the kitchen to make breakfast, all the while dreading what the day had in store for me. As I was doing this though I realized that it was very important that I do the work that I needed to do today.


It might not matter what my grades are this semester (as long as I pass), or how many hours I worked solving people's computer problems, but it does matter whether or not I do these things or just shirk them off because I don't feel like doing them. I believe that the choices we make in certain circumstances develop habits in us about how we view things or the way we think about things. So for me to blow off the things that I had to do today would be developing in me a way of thinking that I can just blow off things if I don't feel like doing them because they won't matter later anyway. It would probably take a while for me to get the point where I actually do blow things off that I don't feel like doing, but I would be taking a step in that direction and making it easier to take future steps in that direction.


So even though my routine right now is very tiring on me at least I have a reason now to keep it up. I have no desire to be someone who just blows things off when I don't feel like doing things, but to be someone who does things that need to be done even when I don't feel like doing them. 


Now all I have to do is remember all this, which is going to be a challenge of its own. I am very good at forgetting things like this.